Sunday, November 29, 2009'♥
I realise its been some times since i last blog decently
Hell loads of shits happened and are still happening
Gotten my results for last term papers.
B for Biz Mgmt II and C for Mktg & Pdtn Mgmt
I could have score better if only i started mugging earlier
So.. that shall be the case for this term.
I gotta learn to love my books starting now. hahs.
Work is in a terrible mess
Causing me to be in an extreme mental state
When everybody who sees me goes:
WA! Y u slim down so much
My answer will be - the best slimming pills will be SBS (si bei stress).
Im breaking down, going bersak real soon.
Stats n FIT are modules i chosen for this term.
Sigh. Stats seriously suck big time.
All those funny, weird looking equations appeared so Goddamn alien to me!
i hope this doesnt spells DOOM for me please. :(
I think after so much that happened
Which some had just ended not long before
Causes me to feel this way so much.
Right now, im seriously and totally immunued to emotion
Like a freak without soul struggling to stay alive
I detest the way im feeling
Its not at all any good.
I wanna laugh when happy, cry when im upset
Get angry or pissed when i should
Whatever it is... i just wanna FEEL what i should
But when my heart gets so terribly tired and bruised
Its no better then dead.
Good and bad.
99% of bad. 1% of good.
And that 1% because it allows me to fully focus on work & studies now.
100% concentration in my priorities
No restrictions, no unhappiness, no quarrels, no distractions and all and all
I do whatever i want w/o worrying for any shits happening
I needa find back my long lost freedom
I needa find back my long lost self
I needa find back my long lost smile
I want and need to get that happiness back in life.
But yeah, i'll need really long time.
Its not gonna b easy for somebody to revive in this current state.
So.. i'll just do whatever i feel happier and fuck care the rest.
Which, i feel so much happier being my old self.
Regardless if its just self denial.
=)
Zombie@11/29/2009 12:15:00 PM
'♥
Zombie@11/29/2009 11:26:00 AM
Sunday, November 22, 2009'♥
Im not gonna be afraid of whats ahead.
Im just afraid of feeling this way.
Zombie@11/22/2009 03:53:00 PM
Saturday, November 14, 2009'♥
“ I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. I’m tired of missing things. I’m tired of missing people. I’m tired of remembering. I’m tired of wishing I could start all over. I’m tired of not being able to just let go. I’m tired of faking it. I’m tired of being different. I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of needing help. I’m tired of always wondering when God is finally going to let me be happy. Most of all, I’m just I’m tired of being tired.
Zombie@11/14/2009 03:23:00 PM
Friday, November 13, 2009'♥
Zombie@11/13/2009 09:16:00 AM
Saturday, November 07, 2009'♥
I guess I just got lost being someone else
I tried to kill the pain, nothing ever helped
I left myself behind somewhere along the way
Hoping to come back around to find myself someday
I'll never find my heart behind someone else
I'll never see the light of day living in this cell
It's time to make my way into the world i knew
So i can shine with my own light, let me be myself
Zombie@11/07/2009 11:38:00 PM
Thursday, November 05, 2009'♥
Zombie@11/05/2009 08:00:00 PM
'♥
"No matter how much i feel, im not gonna let it out. If i have to cry, im gonna cry on the inside. If i have to bleed, i'll bruise. If my heart starts going crazy, im not gonna tell everyone in the world about it. It doesnt help anything. It just makes everyone's life worse."
"But if you are burying your feelings deep inside you, you won't really be you, will you?"
Zombie@11/05/2009 07:53:00 PM
Wednesday, November 04, 2009'♥
"Why do beautiful songs make you sad?"
"Because they aren't true"
"Never?"
"Nothing is beautiful and true."
Zombie@11/04/2009 10:29:00 AM
Sunday, November 01, 2009'♥
Zombie@11/01/2009 06:45:00 PM